Sex and the Churches

Want to raise the hackles of Protestants?  Mention sex.  What a can of worms!  Sex in the Protesant church is subject to a wide array of interpretation and protection; from fundamentalists acting like it is a bad word and missionary-only is the way to go, all the way to those who believe premarital sex is ok so long as it isn't casual and anything goes in the marriage bed.

I was shocked, SHOCKED to learn that Christians practice sodomy and BDSM and even forms of fantasy-swinging and pornography use!  I am saddened that so many Protestants excuse the use of pornography in the forms of TV shows and movies.  Or they blame the wives for the husband's porn use.  Or the rampant entitlement Protestant men have towards the sex type and frequency they want.  On the other side of that same coin is the rampant number of Protestant women who are refusing to have sex with their husbands!

And if anyone mentions the Catholic views on sex, Protestants get really defensive. I admit, I did, too.  But, the more I read into it, the more I see the wisdom in it.

We are not entitled to sex.

Let me say that again.  We are not entitled to sex.

We are not entitled to it how we want it, when we want it, with whomever we want it with.  We are not to be slaves to those tingles in our pants.

I really am beginning to believe that the Protestant views on sex are messed up....either they believe it is a dirty necessity, or a patriarchal entitlement, or a free pass for hedonism.

I belong to several Protestant marriage groups and the men are so often angered and upset at the lack of sex in marriage. They want to know what they are entitled to while the wife is recovering from child birth.  They want to know what birth control their wives can go on so they can have all the sex they want....and then get angry when that birth control kills her sex drive, or makes sex painful for her.  They begin to despise their wives because she doesn't want to give him blow jobs all the time, or she refuses to allow him to perform anal sex on her, or she wants another child and he does not because he hates the lack of sex during the challenging times of pregnancy and infancy.  And then they have the audacity to point fingers at their wives because she isn't fulfilling his hedonistic desires, so he turns to pornography!  They'll say, "I know I'm responsible for my own sin, BUT SHE MADE ME DO IT!"  The more I read, the more hedonism I see and the more I realize I have been hedonistic, too!

They use the verse that the marriage bed is undefiled, but judging by the hurt feelings, the complaining, the bitterness, resentment, and anger towards their spouses, it certainly sounds like the marriage bed is being defiled.

Catholics hold sex in marriage to be something even more special than just the fun or duty Protestants get to have once married.  From what I understand, sex in marriage is needful and ought to be done in unity and for the possibility of procreation and not just for personal pleasure.  They also disallow masturbation for the same reasons....it is hedonistic...it is neither unifying nor a giver of life.

Husbands are required to hold their wives in high regard for her well-being.  They are required to exercise self control which makes the coming together even more blessed and more joyful than the gluttony of Protestant entitlement to sex in marriage whenever, wherever, however.  (Well, if she can't open her legs, she should at least open her mouth for me.)  In Catholicism and husband has to care for his wife's body as if it were his own, and be mindful of her cycle and the sanctity of life, both hers and their unborn children's.  Times of sexual fasting may be encouraged or required.  Sex is a gift, not a need.

I'm not saying I totally agree with Catholic teachings on sex, I can see that Protestant teachings are entering into gluttony, lust, and hedonism, and the bitterness, anger, resentment, hurt, fear, pain, rampant porn use, and even death (abortion and chemical birth control, anyone?) coming out of it is just proof positive that we are straying from God's intent.