I am praying the Holy Cloak Novena for the first time in my life. I friend suggested it to me after I shared with her my intentions and that I wanted to pray a novena for them. It felt daunting to do a longer novena (about 20 minutes a day, every day, for 30 days), but I find I look forward to praying it.
What a beautiful novena! And so much to learn and so much good stuff in it! Joseph, so highly venerated in the Catholic Church, is forgotten more than Mary in most Evangelical churches. To actually think about him in Christ's life is a learning experience for me.
There's a part in the novena that really struck me, the Litany to Saint Joseph. As I read it and prayed it I realized this is an excellent list for husband and father goals. Since the novena is prayed to a husband and father, and often for husbands and fathers, I wanted to take some time to jot down my thoughts and intentions for husbands in general on each of the lines in the litany starting with St. Joseph,:
St. Joseph, pray for us - St. Joseph is a role model to whom we should all look up, but especially husbands and fathers.
Blessed offspring of David - we remember our husband's ancestors and those who had influence on him, good and bad, and pray that the blessed good influences overrule the bad.
Light of Patriarchs: Our husbands need to look to Joseph as their patriarch and example as they stand as patriarchs and lights of the gospel in our families.
Spouse of the Mother of God: St. Joseph was the spouse of the woman who bore our Savior and he honored her for it. Husbands should give honor to their wives who bare future generations of the Church. A disrespected wife in the home leads to disrespectful children and overall chaos.
Chaste custodian of the Blessed Virgin: Husbands MUST protect their wife's purity and chastity. It is a shame for husbands to want to show off their wife's body, or encourage her to engage in impure acts in the marriage bed, or watch pornography with her, or justify watching TV shows or movies full of smut. They should honor her modesty and find beauty in it rather than teasing her for it. They should honor her God-given reproductive nature and not whine and complain about it.
Guardian of the Son of God: Fathers, guard your sons. You must be as present as possible to do this. Discourage bad behavior. Encourage them in love and service to Christ. Help them give honor to their mother, respecting her. Protect them from the evils of this world.
Defender of Christ: Husbands, fathers MUST defend Christ in their lives. You can't be Church Daddy on Sunday, Half-way-decent Daddy at home during the week, and Just-like-the-other-guys at the work.
Head of the Holy Family: Husbands, fathers MUST defend Christ especially within the family unit. There's a study I have heard mentioned several times in which if children only attend church, there is a very small percentage of a chance that the whole family will come to Christ. If a mother attends church, that percentage jumps up a little. But, if a father attends church, that percentage jumps up to around 80%!! Be the spiritual leaders of your homes as God designed you to
O Joseph, most just: Husbands and fathers need to seek wisdom so they can be just in their lives, but especially in the home where children need training up in the way of the Lord.
O Joseph, most chaste: Husbands and fathers MUST be chaste. Do NOT bring filth and lust into your home. Even if you do so privately on your smartphone, even if you sneak it in the bathroom at work, STOP! What you do in private still leeches out into your family and leaves them vulnerable.
O Joseph, most prudent: Husbands and fathers need to control their impulses. Be prudent. Be wise. Your child may need your arms around them rather than a bellowing shout in their face and a too-firm hand on their little backsides. Your teenage boy may need a good talk, some hard work with you, and guidance, rather than a cock-fight show of aggressive authority and demand for obedience. Your wife may need a new washing machine far more than you want that golfing holiday or video game console.
O Joseph, most forceful: This is the other side of the coin...balanced, though. There are husbands too forceful of their own ways, but there are husbands who are far too passive. They shut themselves up in their caves and ignore their families. They stay late to work to avoid going home and having to actually parent. They avoid confrontation and protection where it is needed. They let their children disobey out of apathy or amusement. A man needs to be forceful at times to properly love and protect his family.
O Joseph, most obedient: Husbands and fathers, obey the Lord. Pray and seek Him and His wisdom and direction for you and your family. Obey the scriptures, obey the Church.
O Joseph, most faithful: Be a part of the Church. Don't just attend Mass, but be the spiritual leader of your family through Mass. Lead your family in prayer. Work with your wife as to how to spiritually guide and education your children. Trust in the Lord. PRAY!
Mirror of patience: Husbands and fathers, be patient. Be patient when your infant in colicky and won't stop crying. Be patient when your wife is using NFP and has to say no to sexual intercourse. Be patient when work isn't going so well, or your child breaks something, or gets a low grade, or the car breaks down, or you have to put off that fishing trip because a home repair is more necessary. Be patient with the Church, too, as it works through issues in this world.
Lover of poverty: Husbands and fathers, don't be about the toys and gadgets and keeping up with Joneses. Recognize the greater needs of the family and be happy to provide them.
Model of laborers: Be a model employee. Teach your children, especially your sons, the joy of working and accomplishing something.
Patriarch of the home: Be home to your family. Let your family be sorry to see you go to work and look forward to having you come home. Don't just occupy real estate, but participate. Envelope your family with your love, your prayers, your thoughts, your concerns, your leadership, your wisdom.
Protector of virgins: Have a daughter? (This applies to sons and their chastity, too) Protect her maidenhood. Teach her that modesty is a beautiful virtue, that she is worth far more than her body parts, and that any boy who would want to take her purity from her outside of marriage is not worth her time, energy, heart, or worry. Treat her like a lady.
Strength of the family: I think this Christian music video sums up my thoughts on this well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLr6G8Xy5uc
Comforter of the afflicted: Care about those hurting around you. I've seen so many men shy away from caregiving. They seem to assume it's woman's work. Kiddo starts throwing up and dad disappears. Wife gets sick and he expects that same housework to be done. Wife is on bedrest for a challenging pregnancy and he lets the house go. Daughter is in tears over someone, and he tells her to stop being so dramatic. Son has a chip on his shoulder about something, and dad just tells him to adjust his attitude.
Hope of the sick: Men, a wife is a natural caregiver. Her role, especially in motherhood, is to give so much of herself and care for others. It means so very much to her to be cared for when she isn't feeling well. To trust that everything is under control helps her rest. To know you aren't miserable about the inconvenience of having to step in is a HUGE weight off of her shoulders.
Patron of the dying: I'm not sure what to put here, but just to care. Care about pro-life issues. Care when your wife miscarries. Care when the family pet needs to be put to sleep. And show that you care.
Terror of demons: Put on your full armor of God, men! We need warrior husbands and fathers. Pray!!
Protector of the Church: The Church flounders when husbands and fathers no longer protect it. When they stop attending Mass, the Church struggles. When they criticize every little nuance and question the Catechism for their own conveniences, they create rifts and cause doubt. When they sit in their pjs in the recliner while mom ushers the protesting kiddos out the door to Mass they are killing the future generation of the Church and building up the enemy's congregants, instead.
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