When I exit my churches

I feel sad when I exit both the Catholic Church and my Baptist Church, but for different reasons.

I feel sad when I exit the Catholic Church because I am still an outsider.  I belong there, but I don't.  Jesus welcomes me there, but I am not in full communion with Him.  I don't understand it all.  I am not connected, involved, part of the community.  I'm just a visitor and not a family member.

I feel sad when I exit the Baptist Church because I am still an outsider.  I feel like I don't quite belong there.  I also don't feel like Jesus is really there because it feels more like a Christian social club that a church.  It's a fellowship party every Sunday focused so much on the Body that the Head feels ignored.  And they removed the crosses.  I haven't seen one in so long.