I Haven't Watched The Passion

I just can't bring myself to do it.  It'll wreck me, I know.

Yet, I know I ought to watch The Passion.

I want to, but it'll have to be on a spiritual retreat.  A time when I am away from all obligations but spiritual ones between myself and God.  Because I know it'll do me in.  I won't be able to function for a while after viewing it.

I listened to most of The Stations of the Cross on Gus Lloyd's show on Good Friday and that alone affected me like I have never been affected before concerning Christ's crucifixion.   I have always just set it aside, or been unable to really contemplate it and understand it.  Protestantism doesn't really emphasize it.  The season is mostly directed to His resurrection and we celebrate that.  You almost never see Christ on the cross in a Protestant church, and if you do, it is either done in a cutesy way to not affect too much emotion, or in an overly dramatic way that plays to emotion without really bringing the TRUTH of it.  It's detached.  At least it has been for me.

Pray that I may be granted a spiritual retreat.  I have been needing one desperately for years, but unable to have one.  Nothing fancy.  I just need a weekend away on my own.