Rest and Peace in Church

Rest and Peace are two things I seek.  For whatever reason my physical body almost never feels rested, and I suffer from anxiety, so I rarely feel peace.  I sorely crave these things.

The Bible says God gives us rest and peace.  I believe that, but I have yet to really have it and I'm not sure why.

When I attend my Protestant churches I look around and see so many faces happy to be there, holding on to every word the Pastor says, smiling, and looking completely at home.  I have ALWAYS felt like I was sitting on the outside, the fringes, looking in and not really being a part of.  I'm not sure why.

Do I blame the Protestant churches I have attended?  Certainly not.  But neither do I completely blame myself.  I tried the whole, "change your attitude" thing and it didn't work.  It was inferred that something was wrong with me and my faith and if I would just yield to God I would fit in.  I have been praying for and desiring Truth and praying for and desiring unity and seeking seeking seeking for decades, and the more I pray for it all, the more disquieted I become!

I've tried wadding myself into certain Protestant molds.  I've tried just being my own unique self, the dandelion among the daisies.  I've tried ignoring my fascination and interest in the Catholic Church.  I even considered just giving it all up and living this weird floater life where I believe in God and pray and read the Bible, but never belong anywhere and no longer attend church.

There is no rest.  There is no peace.  I am exhausted and anxious, and I feel this longing to crawl into His Presence and find peace and find rest.