Wanting to Dive In

There are days I feel just so ready.  I just want to dive right into Catholicism and be Catholic.

So, what's holding me back?

I do feel God is asking me to be patient.  There's more than meets the eye.  There's more to come.  I don't feel that He is halting my seeking at all.  Quite the contrary, but we must work within His timeframe.  I trust that I'll know when I know.  I tell Him that I don't want to waste time.  I feel like I've wasted enough time.  I'm sad I didn't get to grow up in the Catholic church, but I have to trust Him.

The answer may be I never become Catholic.

I don't know.

I do know I don't want to go alone.  It is very very important to me that if we are to convert, we convert as a family.  Perhaps God won't orchestrate it that way.  I'd be satisfied with hubby's full consent and encouragement, even if he chooses not to.  I'd go for it if I felt God leading me that way with apathy from my husband.  But, it is very important to me that this does NOT cause any division or rifts or spiritual hurts or confusions within my marriage home.

I still have a ton of questions and a ton of thoughts to sort out and beliefs I don't quite understand or agree with.  There are days I am at the point of just throwing up my hands and saying, "you know what?  It's faith.  I may not be there or fully understand or fully agree, but I can have faith that they are true and accept them."

Again, I just don't know.  All I know is that the green light is on.