Veiling at Mass

It is a little bit of a hard thing for me to veil at Mass because not only am I not a confirmed Catholic, but I'm one of very very few women who do veil.  I don't want to come across as uppity among so many faithful Catholic women who do not veil.  Sometimes, I wonder if I ought to just blend in and not stand out so, but I cannot bring myself to not veil.

As it stands, however, I have not received any negative feedback or looks or sideways glances.  It seems people appreciate the sight of the veil in Mass, even if they themselves don't feel like they could do it.  What really strikes me are the young children.  They peep over the backs of pews at me.  Little boys stare for a moment, almost emotionless in their wondering.  Little girls stare longer, with bright eyes and shy smiles.  I wonder if these kiddos think I'm a nun!  I love that they look because then I can smile at them, even wave a little if it isn't a crucial time during Mass for strict reverence.

Another reaction I have gotten to my face and behind my back are how beautiful I look.  This pricks my conscience because I do not want to be vain over veiling.  It's humbling to veil, but if I've learned anything about Catholicism, it is that beauty is valued.  Not vanity, mind you, but beauty, and veiling is beautiful.  I'm not a particularly beautiful woman.  I'll never grace a magazine cover, but veiling is beautiful.  It also reveals just how starved modern people are for beauty.  Especially for beauty that is in the context of holiness, reverence, modesty, and all that is proper and well-ordered.

I veil because I feel compelled to.  It humbles me.  It is a little scary.  I hope it is a positive witness.  I hope I can one day receive the Eucharist veiled, cleansed, forgiven, redeemed, on my knees, on my tongue, with full thanksgiving.  I hope those little girls who shyly stare and smile choose to veil.  I hope my mere presence veiled perhaps helps another woman who wants to veil, but is afraid to go against the tide, start veiling.