Every once in a while I have a Catholic dream. Sometimes they are just sweet little dreams. Sometimes they are impactful. This morning the dream was very impactful.
The beginning of my dream is very hazy and all but forgotten. I think I was dealing with family members opposed to my Catholicism.
I found myself at a Catholic Mass, though I can't remember if I went there to seek refuge from arguing with my family, or if I was thrust there by some unknown force. But, I was there and it was packed shoulder to shoulder with people and people out the door, standing room only.
When I got there it was towards the end of receiving the Eucharist, so I was at the back of the line walking towards the Eucharist while others who had already received were heading back in the opposite direction. There were people of all kinds there, but I noticed the nuns. So many nuns!
There was music, singing of sorts, though not quite typical human singing. Just beauty.
I knew I couldn't receive the Eucharist, but I figured I'd go up for a blessing.
In front of me was a young woman with a toddler daughter who was a bit wiggly. Sometimes, instead of a daughter, she had two puppies, and at one point she had a goat. I helped her handle the wiggly bunch, whatever they were.
Ahead of us, I could see the priest ending communion and the remainder of the line was being ushered past the alter and through the back of the church. I heard somewhere that we had to go to confession. I was a little concerned because I was not yet prepared for confession through RCIA, but I figured I'd either be told it was time to confess, or I'd just have a moment to speak with the priest.
The queue was led through the back of the church where things were stored and then through a school hallway. All the while, this lady and I juggled the unruly bunch, whether child, puppies, or goat. We weren't upset about it. Just dealing with it as it was.
Finally, we turned into a beautiful annex with grand windows that overlooked a beautiful cliff and view. We had reached my priest's office (I have never seen my priest's office, but I can tell you it doesn't overlook a cliff with beautiful views through magnificent windows). My priest was sitting at his desk receiving us one by one.
The lady went in ahead of me, and at this point, she had two puppies. One went with her while I scrambled with the second wiggly pup. The pup got away from me and as I went to retrieve it near the doorway of the office, I was met by the woman exiting, talking and making excuses while my priest told her something along the lines of needing to repent or she couldn't come back (couldn't receive the Eucharist). In my knowing, I understood that she was living in sin with a boyfriend and had other unknown mortal sins.
The firmness of my priest with the woman had me a little frightened, though. What did he have in store for me? I entered his beautiful office and started to make introduction so he knew I wasn't prepared for confession, but was willing, though, at that point, I couldn't think of even a starting point!
I remember turning to look at my priest, sitting in his office chair, leaning back, with his hands folded across the front of his cassock.
The dream just stopped. Full, sudden stop. In a moment it was ended, black, silent, unmoving. And the next moment I heard a whisper in my ear, clear as anything, my priest's voice (he has a unique and recognizable voice). He whispered, "Peace to you."
It was so realistic and clear that I shot awake immediately. I pondered what had just happened and wondered if at that moment he was praying for me. It was nearly 4:30 AM and I figured that's not an unusual hour for a dedicated priest to possibly be awake.
I can't seem to make much of the dream, itself. What was the significance of the packed Mass? The nuns? The woman in front of me with her wiggly bunch of changing companions? That same woman being sent out to repent of her mortal sins? The audible, realistic whisper.....
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