The Humbling Beauty of the Holy Cloak Novena

Today is day 30 of the Holy Cloak Novena that I have been praying.  When I started my intentions were outward.  As it went on I added an intention for my own improvement.  May I be a Marian wife and mother.  Even on this blog I posted the litany of St. Joseph with admonitions towards men to emulate the Blessed Spouse of the Virgin Mary.

There is something else within the Holy Cloak Novena that would have brought me to my knees if I wasn't already on them.  There is a section that humbled and convicted me, and blessed me as I prayed the words:

In Honor of St. Joseph's Hidden Life with Jesus and Mary:

St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may come into my soul and sanctify me.To be consecrated is a big deal!  May I be set apart, holy.  May Jesus be the author and finisher of my life.

St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may come into my heart and inspire it with charity.I am selfish.  Having been a charity-case for so many years I have developed a sense of entitlement.  You have more, I have less, you give to me.  I am grateful, yes, but give.  May I learn to give and love.

St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may come into my mind and enlighten it.I want to be enlightened in the Truth.  I only seek God's Truth.

St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may guide my will and strengthen it.I am a coward.  I need this.

St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may direct my thoughts and purify them.
It is scary how much evil just comes naturally to my mind.  Judgements, foul language, selfish thoughts, envyings, dirty jokes, innuendos, vain imaginations.  I want them gone!  Purify me.

St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may guide my desires and direct them. Help me to distinguish between my own vanity and Your leading.  May I not desire earthly gain.

St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may look upon my deeds and extend His blessing.This one is very humbling because am I even doing deeds worthy of blessing?  Is a nugget here and crumb there worthy of blessing?  Are my weak and distracted prayers worthy of blessing?  Thank God He is a good, good Father who is merciful.

St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may inflame me with love for Him. Yes!  I want to Love Him above all!

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the imitation of your virtues. Who can find a virtuous woman?  May one be found here for Your glory and for the benefit of my family.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus true humility of spirit. Rampant individualism and "girl power" puts a lot of pressure on me to want to be cocky and self-assured.  May I be humble, instead.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus meekness of heart.I am not here to trample over others or have my way or be right all the time and gain in society.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus peace of soul.I yearn for peace of soul.  The turmoil of Protestantism is still a struggle as I deal with all the dissenting voices in my head from all I have learned for and against Catholicism.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a holy fear of the Lord. I so appreciate Catholic reverence for our Savior.  Evangelicalism has emphasized Christ's buddy-buddy love for us so much that it feels like reverence for Him has been forgotten.  Thus, people no longer fear Him.  How can such a buddy-buddy Jesus allow people to descend into hell fire?  Why would such a buddy-buddy Jesus allow for there to be a hell at all?  I wish to revere Jesus to the best of my ability.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a desire for protection. Sometimes we don't ask for protection because we want the evil.  It's like not putting a filter on a porn-addict's smart phone because then they not only have a chance of seeing the smut again, but an excuse for when they fall.  Protect me from evil, dear Lord!

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a gentleness of character. I have become harsh over the years.  Stress, abuse, fear, being stretched thin and worn down, confused, and failing have roughened my once smooth and soft edges.  I have taken on masculine characteristic.  Even my walk is more lumbering and less feminine.  I yearn for gentleness and being a beautiful, safe, graceful haven for my family.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a pure and charitable heart. Help me to give without seeking gain.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a holy acceptance of suffering. Biggie here, but I love this.  I love that Catholicism encourages a usefulness to suffering for the glory of God!

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the wisdom of faith.To learn wisdom, to know the true path, the truth, the black and white!

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus His blessing of perseverance in my good deeds.Help me not to be weary in well doing.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the strength to carry my crosses.I may have PTSD from things I dealt with several years ago so anything that stresses me becomes a crisis reaction and I freak out and then shut down.  I need strength to carry my crosses rather than throwing them to the ground and pitching a fit.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a disdain for the material goods of this world.Help me not to covet and waste, but to be thoughtful and careful and a good steward.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the grace to always walk on the narrow path towards Heaven.Yes!  This is what I've always wanted!

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the grace to avoid all occasion of sin.Laziness is often the path towards inviting occasions of sin.  May I be diligent, instead.

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a holy desire for eternal bliss.Just the other night I was lamenting my wasting of the years of my life.  I haven't really done much or accomplished much or have big memories of grand things.  I actually started getting upset about it. I'm a simpleton and have lived in or near first world poverty most of my life.  Amid the rest of the western world it can seem like my life is meaningless and wasted.  Not so, dear Lord.  My aim is higher.  

St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the grace of final perseverance. Help me not give up the race just before the finish line.

St. Joseph, do not abandon me.I need all the help I can get!

St. Joseph, grant that my heart may never cease to love you and that my lips may ever praise you. Learning to love the saints is a big deal.  It is humbling and, yes, a little scary.  One cannot be a spiritual island in Catholicism.  We have too many people to love.

St. Joseph, for the love you bore for Jesus, grant that I may learn to love Him.To love Jesus as much as we can as He deserves means emptying ourselves of ourselves.  That's a hard thing.  Help me to learn to do so.

St. Joseph, graciously accept me as your devoted servant.Another humbling prayer, to get out of ourselves and put ourselves in another's service, especially since just before my researching into Catholicism I got into this new Evangelicalism that really pushed women to take charge of their lives and demand respect and getting their way.

St. Joseph, I give myself to you; accept my pleas and hear my prayers.I cannot do this on my own.  More humbling.

St. Joseph, do not abandon me at the hour of my death.
Again, not an island.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I give you my heart and my soul.  

The Blessing of "Catholic Guilt"

One of the things that had me lost in Protestantism is the vast differences of interpretations not only from denomination to denomination, but from church to church, from person to person.  I can't tell you how many times I had said out loud and in prayer, "I wish there was a rule book so I knew what exactly I should do and shouldn't do!"

Protestants insist that God isn't that restrictive, or it's in the Bible, or the Holy Spirit will tell me.  Then, I encountered so many people who believed that what I felt was sin was not sin at all!  When I said as much I was told, "well, that's just your conviction or interpretation.  If you feel it is a sin and commit it, then it is a sin.  But, if you don't feel it is a sin and the Bible isn't clear on it, then it isn't a sin."  WHAT!?  Surely, sin is sin no matter who does it or how they feel about it!  I do agree that there are some gray areas, areas that fall into conviction, such as wearing only long dresses or completely abstaining from alcohol.  But, the idea that our sin is up to our personal interpretation did not settle with me.

On top of that I was confused as to what a holy life looked like.  With no liturgy, order, and so much left to personal interpretation I was lost.  How do I know if my life is pleasing to God or an offending odor?!  A little leaven leavens the whole lump.  How do I know if I have some leaven?  What good is the Holy Spirit telling me if what He says to one personal isn't the same as to another?  How can He tell me that sodomy in marriage is sin, but tell another that anything in the marriage bed is permissible, including sodomizing your wife?  We're not talking about the difference between finger widths of necklines here!

There HAS to be an authority on this, I thought.  The Bible does seem to leave some up to interpretation, so what did the original church practice and preach?  How did they answer these burning questions and cultural differences?

Oh wait...that removes sola scriptura!

And then I find a Catechism.  Bliss!!  My rule book!!  My questions answered!  Authority before the Lord Jesus Christ HAS established exactly what I am looking for!  I don't find it restrictive.  I find it freeing!!

And oh, the Catholic guilt!  That beautiful Catholic guilt!  I can see plain as day what is right and wrong, where I am lacking and improving, where I am holy and receiving blessings, and where I am unholy and receiving my due consequences.  I find I desire confession.  I desire an ordered life.  I desire liturgy.  No more questioning.  No more arguing.  No more confusion.  No more one-woman show where anyone and everyone can argue against my beliefs.  I can point over to the Catechism and up to Heaven and around to my Priest and all the way across the ocean to the Pope.  I have back up. 

The Tongues Decision

This post will make any Pentecostals in my circle unhappy.  But, I would rather follow the leading of great prayer, research, history, and discussion with my husband, and my own conscience than give in to the pressures of one denomination I am not even a part of anymore.

Yes, I have decided to no longer speak in tongues.

I listened to two lectures by Catholic priests (one a leading exorcist) on YouTube and they both brought up key points that really stuck with me.  I felt strongly that I needed to discuss this with my husband.  He had not received the gift of tongues in our Assembly of God church, but was pressured to.  We only talked on it a little in the past.  Of course, I had fallen into the idea that he just didn't want it enough or wasn't willing to give up control (Lord, forgive me).  He explained to me that he did not feel comfortable at all with the pressure to perform.

Anyhow, the 3 key points I shared with hubby are as follows:

1.  Not everyone receives every gift.  The gift of tongues is not universal.

Fr. Ripperger stated that Pentecostals do not have the correct understanding of graces and gifts.  They aren't universally given.  Pentecostals believe that speaking in tongues is the one gift that every Christian can receive.  It then becomes a frustration to Pentecostals who do not receive any tongues manifestation.  There are testimonies of people who said they were pushed so hard they faked it just to get left alone.

2.  If you don't know what you are saying, you do not have the gift of tongues.

Even when I fully believed in speaking in tongues and practiced it, it really bothered me that I never knew what I was saying.  I wasn't speaking any known language.  I was just making sounds, mostly repeating sounds.  I was told this was a baby-version of the heavenly language.  That just sounded like baloney to me even then.  It makes no sense to me that tongues needs interpretation as stated in the Bible (1 Cor. 14) yes, I myself knew not what I was saying!

3.  When you allow yourself to lose that control and open yourself up to receiving a spirit and speak in strange utterances you could lose your ability to discern that which is of the Lord from that which is diabolical.

This one was the clincher for me.  Perhaps my biggest struggle right now is not knowing whether I am walking my own path, or walking on God's path.  I am struggling with discernment to the point where I trust not myself very much at all and seek counsel.

Therefore, I sought the counsel of my husband on this matter, and when I explained what I heard in the lectures, giving the 3 points I did above, my husband was nodding his head by the time I finished.  He gave his piece on the matter and we decided that speaking in tongues was not going to be sought or practiced by us any longer.

We also decided that the push of the Assemblies of God church to get people to speak in tongues, especially children by well-meaning teachers, was not a positive thing and just too invasive.

I actually feel a weight lifted from me.

The Tongues Debate

Starting from around age 4 or 5 we started attending an Assembly of God church.  It is well known that the AG church is part of the Pentecostal movement that began on Azusa Street in the early 20th century.  The biggest stand-out of the movement is the Baptism of the Holy Spirit manifested in speaking in tongues.  Tongues, is typically manifested in a quasi-involuntary verbalization of an unknown language done for prayer or prophecy.  If the tongues are spoken out loud they need interpretation in order to be considered of the Lord and not of one's own will or of demonic influence.  Otherwise, tongues are spoken softly to oneself.  If you overhear someone speaking in tongues, you are not obligated to have an interpretation.

My personal history with tongues:

I grew up in the Benny Hinn era.  My siblings and I would watch him on TV just to watch people get "slain in the spirit," that is, they would often just pass out.  I don't recall ever seeing a miracle of healing except in the commercials.  Occasionally our AG church would host a vivacious evangelist with a big booming voice who would get upset if we didn't say amen enough who would have an alter call.  The front of the church would be filled with people praying, crying, singing, and speaking in tongues.  Once in a while someone would pass out after being "slain in the spirit."

I would overhear my mother speaking in tongues and listen intently to the sounds she made.  As a child I found it strange. I didn't want to speak in tongues.  I liked praying normally.  I didn't like the emotional upheaval, the loudness, the "controlled chaos" of the AG church.

When I turned 17 and had my own car I left the AG church I grew up in and started attending a different AG church.  It was smaller, quieter, more ordered.  I liked it.

The "gifts of the spirit" were very manifest in that church.  We regularly had tongues, prophecy, and interpretation.  Were they of the Lord?  I don't know.  Sincere, yes, I believe they were sincere, but I found it odd that the prophecies were so similar, and often admonitions.  I'd feel like, "Yeah, we ARE believing!  Why are you telling us to believe or trust or have faith?  We are doing that!"  But, I trusted my pastor and understood that I am just a sinner, faulty human.  And I certainly didn't have the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, so who was I to talk.

It got to a point that the church really began to emphasize speaking in tongues.  We began to have alter calls and admonitions and teachings. We'd spend quiet time in prayer (which wasn't really quiet because all around you could hear people whispering and speaking in tongues which I found crazy-distracting) asking for the Holy Spirit to come and Baptize those who weren't baptized yet. It never came to me.

The children's church started really praying and pushing for the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with the children.  It was a big deal if a child received and it would be announced to the church.  Looking back I am a little concerned that this was done by the church teachers and not the parents, although largely the parents were fine with it since they agreed it was needed.

Still, I never received.

But after decades of hearing how important it is, and having a friend really push me, I began to pray for it in earnest.  She sent me a CD to listen to on speaking in tongues by a popular AG preacher and teacher.  I listened to it and honestly felt I needed to receive.  That night I woke up at around 2 or 3 AM and started praying.  I found out later that my friend woke up at the same time and started praying for me.  I received!!  I texted her right away and we rejoiced that I was FINALLY baptized in the Holy Spirit.

I enjoyed a sort of honeymoon period of my new-found gift, but I never really felt comfortable with it.  Still, I prayed, and I did enjoy that when I didn't know how to pray or what to pray about, I could just pray in tongues and let the Holy Spirit do the praying for me.  It was pretty cool, too, to be able to tell people (especially those who don't believe in speaking in tongues) that I could pray in tongues.  It was sort of fun to shock those who thought it was demonic.  It can't be demonic because I am doing it!  And I love Jesus and have been a Christian my whole life!

Questions came up, though.  First of all, it bugged me that I didn't know what I was saying.  I thought that the Holy Spirit would at least give me an inclination as to what the context of the prayer was.  Nope.  I just spoke on without knowing a single thing.

When I would ask what tongues actually was I was given a couple of ideas:  1. It is the language of Heaven or 2.  It is the original language before Babal confused the languages.  These were just ideas, though.  Not concrete doctrine.  1 Cor 13:1 "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels..."

If we are to have interpretation of tongues when prayed out loud, then why weren't we as individuals given an interpretation or understanding?

I asked my friend this question:  Why do I just keep repeating the same sounds or "words?"  My tongues didn't sound like her more fluid unknown language that actually sounded like she was saying something in a foreign tongue.  Mine just sounded like babbling.  She explained that because I was new to tongues I was like a baby learning a language.  Babies babble and use the same words over and over before they develop a better speech.  She said hers has evolved over the years.

I thought back to listening to my mother and I remember hearing a lot of repeated sounds.  Maybe we're just saying "Praise Jesus, thank you Jesus" over and over again?  I don't know.  The not knowing really bothered me to the point where if I was praying in tongues my mouth would be going, but my brain would be questioning.  And if I was divided like that, how could I be being Baptized in the Holy Spirit?  I was taught that it was a take-over of sorts.  Voluntary in that we allow the Holy Spirit to come in, but involuntary in that the Holy Spirit is supposed to be taking over our faculties, but not to a point where we can't voluntarily retract.

Currently, we are attending a Baptist church as a family, so of course, tongues is not allowed.  I think I quietly prayed in tongues once there.  While there is a Catholic Charismatic movement, I have not heard good things about it.  It seems more chaotic and divided than it is within the Pentecostal movement.  So, I don't pray in tongues much anymore.  If I do, it is during prayer out of habit.

Yesterday, I listened to Fr. Ripperger's message on tongues here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pc0UwaF6FJQ

The fact that I am allowing myself to be open to a spiritual overtaking of sorts AND not knowing what in the world I am actually saying while under such influence really started bothering me.  Sure, my heart and my direction and my motives are for the Holy Spirit, alone, but it still gives me pause.  Overall, I can honestly say I have never felt peace during or after or from speaking in tongues.  I usually feel disquieted and strange.  Even before yesterday I had my doubts, but of course, being raised Pentecostal I wasn't supposed to have doubts.  It showed my lack of faith, which was probably why I felt weird about speaking in tongues....I wasn't giving myself fully to the Holy Spirit.  I was letting the enemy creep in with doubts, etc...... hashtag faceplant-on-desk.

Today, I prayed out loud (in my native tongue) that I only want God's Truth.  I said that if speaking in tongues is for real, then I give the Holy Spirit permission to overtake me, even if I resist, and make me speak in tongues.  I need to know for sure.  Perhaps that was a dangerous prayer, but our religious leaders, pastors, etc are so divided on this issue and I have decades of teachings for it in a religion that is largely against it.

I did feel like I could start speaking in tongues out of habit.  I could start right now if I wanted to.  But I did NOT feel at all the Holy Spirit (or any spirit for that matter) taking over and compelling me to speak in tongues.

Honestly, I am still not convinced one way or the other.  I am still open to either way.  But I am ONLY open to the Truth.  May the Lord direct my path.

Evangelical Gimmick Prayers vs. Novenas, Chaplets, and Rosaries

Often in Evangelicalism it is taught and thought that Catholics not only idol-worship through prayers to Mary and the Saints instead of just to Jesus, but that the novenas, chaplets, and rosaries are just gimmicks and superstitions to get what we want.  Indeed, it does seem through some instructions that I've read that if you just do xyz with such and such novena, your petition will be granted.  There is an element of superstition within some Catholic church people (not the Church, itself), but that doesn't negate the prayers as a whole.

Ironically, though, Evangelicals are quick to jump onto the fad bandwagons and gimmick prayers.  If you just pray the Power of the Praying Whoever, or if you pray this prayer this way, or quote this many scriptures, or speak in tongues, or do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself around, then God HAS to answer your prayer.  The Prosperity Gospel is still hugely popular.  There's the Name it and Claim it movement.

So, what's the difference?  What makes one a gimmick and the other not?

These Evangelical formulas are gimmicks because they claim and expect God to answer exactly how we want Him to.

The Novenas, Chaplets, and Rosaries leave room for God's will to be done.

Any prayer method that claims absolute answers and leaves no room for God's will are gimmicks and should be thrown out.

What the Holy Cloak Novena is Doing for Me

While I am not going to share publicly what my actual intention is for praying the Holy Cloak Novena, the Novena isn't usually prayed for ourselves, it seems.  It is often prayed for intentions concerning someone else, or something else.  Not a "change me" sort of prayer.  But, one thing I noticed is how it is doing something in me!

There's an entire section within the Novena where the one saying the prayer is praying for St. Joseph's intercession in becoming more Christlike.  I love that this is in there as it takes the focus off of the mote I am praying about and onto the beam in my own eye.  It helps me remember that I am not holier than thou, and it humbles me to prostrate myself even more and give even more of myself and my will up to God.  I just have this urge today to just kneel with my arms outstretched upward for a while.

So, while the other day I hammered the men pretty hard with the Litany for St. Joseph part of the Holy Cloak Novena, I am reminded today that I have my own work to do, too.  I do pray to be a Marian wife and mother.  It does no good to pray for change for someone or something else, but not pray for change in ourselves.

The Holy Cloak Novena and Husband Goals

I am praying the Holy Cloak Novena for the first time in my life.  I friend suggested it to me after I shared with her my intentions and that I wanted to pray a novena for them.  It felt daunting to do a longer novena (about 20 minutes a day, every day, for 30 days), but I find I look forward to praying it.

What a beautiful novena!  And so much to learn and so much good stuff in it!  Joseph, so highly venerated in the Catholic Church, is forgotten more than Mary in most Evangelical churches.  To actually think about him in Christ's life is a learning experience for me.

There's a part in the novena that really struck me, the Litany to Saint Joseph.  As I read it and prayed it I realized this is an excellent list for husband and father goals.  Since the novena is prayed to a husband and father, and often for husbands and fathers, I wanted to take some time to jot down my thoughts and intentions for husbands in general on each of the lines in the litany starting with St. Joseph,:

St. Joseph, pray for us - St. Joseph is a role model to whom we should all look up, but especially husbands and fathers.

Blessed offspring of David - we remember our husband's ancestors and those who had influence on him, good and bad, and pray that the blessed good influences overrule the bad.

Light of Patriarchs:  Our husbands need to look to Joseph as their patriarch and example as they stand as patriarchs and lights of the gospel in our families.

Spouse of the Mother of God:  St. Joseph was the spouse of the woman who bore our Savior and he honored her for it.  Husbands should give honor to their wives who bare future generations of the Church.  A disrespected wife in the home leads to disrespectful children and overall chaos.

Chaste custodian of the Blessed Virgin:  Husbands MUST protect their wife's purity and chastity.  It is a shame for husbands to want to show off their wife's body, or encourage her to engage in impure acts in the marriage bed, or watch pornography with her, or justify watching TV shows or movies full of smut.  They should honor her modesty and find beauty in it rather than teasing her for it.  They should honor her God-given reproductive nature and not whine and complain about it.

Guardian of the Son of God:  Fathers, guard your sons.  You must be as present as possible to do this.  Discourage bad behavior.  Encourage them in love and service to Christ.  Help them give honor to their mother, respecting her.  Protect them from the evils of this world.

Defender of Christ:  Husbands, fathers MUST defend Christ in their lives.  You can't be Church Daddy on Sunday, Half-way-decent Daddy at home during the week, and Just-like-the-other-guys at the work.

Head of the Holy Family:  Husbands, fathers MUST defend Christ especially within the family unit.  There's a study I have heard mentioned several times in which if children only attend church, there is a very small percentage of a chance that the whole family will come to Christ.  If a mother attends church, that percentage jumps up a little.  But, if a father attends church, that percentage jumps up to around 80%!!  Be the spiritual leaders of your homes as God designed you to

O Joseph, most just:  Husbands and fathers need to seek wisdom so they can be just in their lives, but especially in the home where children need training up in the way of the Lord.

O Joseph, most chaste:  Husbands and fathers MUST be chaste.  Do NOT bring filth and lust into your home.  Even if you do so privately on your smartphone, even if you sneak it in the bathroom at work, STOP!  What you do in private still leeches out into your family and leaves them vulnerable.

O Joseph, most prudent:  Husbands and fathers need to control their impulses.  Be prudent.  Be wise. Your child may need your arms around them rather than a bellowing shout in their face and a too-firm hand on their little backsides.  Your teenage boy may need a good talk, some hard work with you, and guidance, rather than a cock-fight show of aggressive authority and demand for obedience.  Your wife may need a new washing machine far more than you want that golfing holiday or video game console.

O Joseph, most forceful:  This is the other side of the coin...balanced, though.  There are husbands too forceful of their own ways, but there are husbands who are far too passive.  They shut themselves up in their caves and ignore their families.  They stay late to work to avoid going home and having to actually parent.  They avoid confrontation and protection where it is needed.  They let their children disobey out of apathy or amusement.  A man needs to be forceful at times to properly love and protect his family.

O Joseph, most obedient:  Husbands and fathers, obey the Lord.  Pray and seek Him and His wisdom and direction for you and your family.  Obey the scriptures, obey the Church.

O Joseph, most faithful:  Be a part of the Church.  Don't just attend Mass, but be the spiritual leader of your family through Mass.  Lead your family in prayer.  Work with your wife as to how to spiritually guide and education your children.  Trust in the Lord.  PRAY!

Mirror of patience:  Husbands and fathers, be patient.  Be patient when your infant in colicky and won't stop crying.  Be patient when your wife is using NFP and has to say no to sexual intercourse.  Be patient when work isn't going so well, or your child breaks something, or gets a low grade, or the car breaks down, or you have to put off that fishing trip because a home repair is more necessary.  Be patient with the Church, too, as it works through issues in this world.

Lover of poverty:  Husbands and fathers, don't be about the toys and gadgets and keeping up with Joneses.  Recognize the greater needs of the family and be happy to provide them.

Model of laborers:  Be a model employee.  Teach your children, especially your sons, the joy of working and accomplishing something.

Patriarch of the home:  Be home to your family.  Let your family be sorry to see you go to work and look forward to having you come home.  Don't just occupy real estate, but participate.  Envelope your family with your love, your prayers, your thoughts, your concerns, your leadership, your wisdom.

Protector of virgins:  Have a daughter?  (This applies to sons and their chastity, too)  Protect her maidenhood.  Teach her that modesty is a beautiful virtue, that she is worth far more than her body parts, and that any boy who would want to take her purity from her outside of marriage is not worth her time, energy, heart, or worry.  Treat her like a lady.

Strength of the family:  I think this Christian music video sums up my thoughts on this well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLr6G8Xy5uc

Comforter of the afflicted:  Care about those hurting around you.  I've seen so many men shy away from caregiving.  They seem to assume it's woman's work.  Kiddo starts throwing up and dad disappears.  Wife gets sick and he expects that same housework to be done.  Wife is on bedrest for a challenging pregnancy and he lets the house go.  Daughter is in tears over someone, and he tells her to stop being so dramatic.  Son has a chip on his shoulder about something, and dad just tells him to adjust his attitude.

Hope of the sick:  Men, a wife is a natural caregiver.  Her role, especially in motherhood, is to give so much of herself and care for others.  It means so very much to her to be cared for when she isn't feeling well.  To trust that everything is under control helps her rest.  To know you aren't miserable about the inconvenience of having to step in is a HUGE weight off of her shoulders.

Patron of the dying:  I'm not sure what to put here, but just to care.  Care about pro-life issues.  Care when your wife miscarries.  Care when the family pet needs to be put to sleep. And show that you care.

Terror of demons:  Put on your full armor of God, men!  We need warrior husbands and fathers.  Pray!!

Protector of the Church:  The Church flounders when husbands and fathers no longer protect it.  When they stop attending Mass, the Church struggles.  When they criticize every little nuance and question the Catechism for their own conveniences, they create rifts and cause doubt.  When they sit in their pjs in the recliner while mom ushers the protesting kiddos out the door to Mass they are killing the future generation of the Church and building up the enemy's congregants, instead.