Christ is Christ, the Eucharist is the Eucharist whether one attends the Novus Ordo Mass or the Traditional Latin Mass. Therefore, I personally feel I should uphold the same modesty standards regardless of which Mass I attend.
Here are some of my personal rules. Now, don't think I am judging you because I have these rules for myself. (Ok, to be honest, I do have a bit of trouble being judgemental towards how people dress or behave for Mass, but I am sincerely working on minding my own beeswax.)
1. Headcovering. I can't get around it. The explanations I have received through Sensus Fidelium about headcovering in Mass have so thoroughly explained 1 Corinthians 11 that I do not feel I can go without covering. Now, currently, because I am not yet a confirmed Catholic, and because no one else in the parish covers (that I know), I don't want to stand out like a sore thumb or come off as pretentious, so instead of a traditional mantilla at the Novus Ordo (we only have TLM a few times per month) I wear a wide headband that can expand to cover my head.
2. Feminine Attire. I grew up, even in the Assembly of God Church, with the teaching that a lady wears a dress or skirt to church. I have very rarely veered from this no matter which church I have attended. I do have more strict sub-rules to this than I do in the Evangelical churches.
A. At the very least to the knees, but preferably to the middle or below the knees. Thigh should not be seen when seated, standing or kneeling.
B. No sleeveless dresses. A blouse can be worn beneath or a cardigan on top, but one ought to wear sleeves.
C. Lace or sheer fabrics must be tasteful and not lure the eye towards what lies beneath, but it is safest to avoid any such fabrics on the main body of the garment.
D. Necklines must be no lower than 4 finger widths below the collar bones. No cleavage or exposed plump of breast should be seen.
E. Skin tight should never happen, even if it is a turtle neck.
F. Pencil or wiggle skirts should be avoided as they hug the curves and make genuflecting more of a challenge.
G. Jewelry should be kept tasteful and minimal and noiseless. Clattering bangles are a no-no. Large earrings, loud colors, fingers covered in rings, flashy necklaces...nope.
H. Hosiery ought to be worn. In the heat of the summer I don't tend to wear hosiery. In some cultural circumstances the hosiery can be more a distraction and stumbling block than going bare-calfed. After Labor Day I'll likely return to hosiery.
B. No sleeveless dresses. A blouse can be worn beneath or a cardigan on top, but one ought to wear sleeves.
C. Lace or sheer fabrics must be tasteful and not lure the eye towards what lies beneath, but it is safest to avoid any such fabrics on the main body of the garment.
D. Necklines must be no lower than 4 finger widths below the collar bones. No cleavage or exposed plump of breast should be seen.
E. Skin tight should never happen, even if it is a turtle neck.
F. Pencil or wiggle skirts should be avoided as they hug the curves and make genuflecting more of a challenge.
G. Jewelry should be kept tasteful and minimal and noiseless. Clattering bangles are a no-no. Large earrings, loud colors, fingers covered in rings, flashy necklaces...nope.
H. Hosiery ought to be worn. In the heat of the summer I don't tend to wear hosiery. In some cultural circumstances the hosiery can be more a distraction and stumbling block than going bare-calfed. After Labor Day I'll likely return to hosiery.
I. Close-toed shoes. It just doesn't seem appropriate to me to wear open-toed shoes. Even in work environments the dress code is typically close-toed. Open toes are for dates and beaches and social events. Not Mass.
J. Modest heels or flats. Say no to stilettoes. I prefer a wider, lower heel (2") or kitten heel, and I try to wear basic pumps or mary janes or oxfords or ballet flats. I'm not cat-walking down a fashion runway. I am walking down the aisle during Mass.
K. Slips and appropriate undergarments. Comfortable panties (no wedgies during Mass), appropriate colored bras so they don't show through, and slips ensure modesty.
3. Don't make noise. I feel horrible for my parish priest because the parishoners like to slam the kneelers up and down. BANG. BANG. BANG. There is absolutely no reason or need to do that. Even my 6 year old can raise and lower the kneeler silently. I also try not to rattle my keys, crinkle the pages of the missal, or creak the pew.
4. Don't wiggle. This one is hard for me. Out of bad habit I tend to sway a little when I stand. I'm working on stopping that habit because it is distracting not only to me, but I am sure to those around me.
5. Hair. I'm old fashioned and I'm approaching 40 years old. It seems more appropriate for me to wear my hair up than let it "flow and show." I have long hair and it is eye-catching. This isn't a hard and fast rule. Some outfits and times it actually seems more modest and less showy to wear my hair down. If I do wear it up, I try to keep it classic and not showy. This is easy to do because I attend 8 AM Mass and I just don't have time to curl it and do anything fancy.
6. Don't Talk! I broke this rule at the Assumption of Mary Mass! I had literally just posted a Sensus Fidelium lecture about why Catholics are silent in the church and about respect and not chattering before, during, or after Mass in the sanctuary. Well, I saw someone I knew and hadn't seen in a while and out it came! Words! I didn't realize my faux pas until we parted ways outside the church doors. Well, I learned my lesson.
7. Don't Rubber Neck. This one I am still working on. I admit I do have a little problem with being judgmental and curious. The other issue is that I am still unfamiliar with all that the Mass entails so I have to follow along and parrot, which is ok, but can breed a habit of rubber-necking. I'll also notice something of someone else and find my mind starts to drift.
These are just my rules for myself. Sensus Fidelium has a great series on Modesty on YouTube. Check it out!
J. Modest heels or flats. Say no to stilettoes. I prefer a wider, lower heel (2") or kitten heel, and I try to wear basic pumps or mary janes or oxfords or ballet flats. I'm not cat-walking down a fashion runway. I am walking down the aisle during Mass.
K. Slips and appropriate undergarments. Comfortable panties (no wedgies during Mass), appropriate colored bras so they don't show through, and slips ensure modesty.
3. Don't make noise. I feel horrible for my parish priest because the parishoners like to slam the kneelers up and down. BANG. BANG. BANG. There is absolutely no reason or need to do that. Even my 6 year old can raise and lower the kneeler silently. I also try not to rattle my keys, crinkle the pages of the missal, or creak the pew.
4. Don't wiggle. This one is hard for me. Out of bad habit I tend to sway a little when I stand. I'm working on stopping that habit because it is distracting not only to me, but I am sure to those around me.
5. Hair. I'm old fashioned and I'm approaching 40 years old. It seems more appropriate for me to wear my hair up than let it "flow and show." I have long hair and it is eye-catching. This isn't a hard and fast rule. Some outfits and times it actually seems more modest and less showy to wear my hair down. If I do wear it up, I try to keep it classic and not showy. This is easy to do because I attend 8 AM Mass and I just don't have time to curl it and do anything fancy.
6. Don't Talk! I broke this rule at the Assumption of Mary Mass! I had literally just posted a Sensus Fidelium lecture about why Catholics are silent in the church and about respect and not chattering before, during, or after Mass in the sanctuary. Well, I saw someone I knew and hadn't seen in a while and out it came! Words! I didn't realize my faux pas until we parted ways outside the church doors. Well, I learned my lesson.
7. Don't Rubber Neck. This one I am still working on. I admit I do have a little problem with being judgmental and curious. The other issue is that I am still unfamiliar with all that the Mass entails so I have to follow along and parrot, which is ok, but can breed a habit of rubber-necking. I'll also notice something of someone else and find my mind starts to drift.
These are just my rules for myself. Sensus Fidelium has a great series on Modesty on YouTube. Check it out!
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