Today is day 30 of the Holy Cloak Novena that I have been praying. When I started my intentions were outward. As it went on I added an intention for my own improvement. May I be a Marian wife and mother. Even on this blog I posted the litany of St. Joseph with admonitions towards men to emulate the Blessed Spouse of the Virgin Mary.
There is something else within the Holy Cloak Novena that would have brought me to my knees if I wasn't already on them. There is a section that humbled and convicted me, and blessed me as I prayed the words:
In Honor of St. Joseph's Hidden Life with Jesus and Mary:
St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may come into my soul and sanctify me.To be consecrated is a big deal! May I be set apart, holy. May Jesus be the author and finisher of my life.
St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may come into my heart and inspire it with charity.I am selfish. Having been a charity-case for so many years I have developed a sense of entitlement. You have more, I have less, you give to me. I am grateful, yes, but give. May I learn to give and love.
St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may come into my mind and enlighten it.I want to be enlightened in the Truth. I only seek God's Truth.
St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may guide my will and strengthen it.I am a coward. I need this.
St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may direct my thoughts and purify them.
It is scary how much evil just comes naturally to my mind. Judgements, foul language, selfish thoughts, envyings, dirty jokes, innuendos, vain imaginations. I want them gone! Purify me.
St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may guide my desires and direct them. Help me to distinguish between my own vanity and Your leading. May I not desire earthly gain.
St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may look upon my deeds and extend His blessing.This one is very humbling because am I even doing deeds worthy of blessing? Is a nugget here and crumb there worthy of blessing? Are my weak and distracted prayers worthy of blessing? Thank God He is a good, good Father who is merciful.
St. Joseph, grant that Jesus may inflame me with love for Him. Yes! I want to Love Him above all!
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the imitation of your virtues. Who can find a virtuous woman? May one be found here for Your glory and for the benefit of my family.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus true humility of spirit. Rampant individualism and "girl power" puts a lot of pressure on me to want to be cocky and self-assured. May I be humble, instead.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus meekness of heart.I am not here to trample over others or have my way or be right all the time and gain in society.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus peace of soul.I yearn for peace of soul. The turmoil of Protestantism is still a struggle as I deal with all the dissenting voices in my head from all I have learned for and against Catholicism.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a holy fear of the Lord. I so appreciate Catholic reverence for our Savior. Evangelicalism has emphasized Christ's buddy-buddy love for us so much that it feels like reverence for Him has been forgotten. Thus, people no longer fear Him. How can such a buddy-buddy Jesus allow people to descend into hell fire? Why would such a buddy-buddy Jesus allow for there to be a hell at all? I wish to revere Jesus to the best of my ability.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a desire for protection. Sometimes we don't ask for protection because we want the evil. It's like not putting a filter on a porn-addict's smart phone because then they not only have a chance of seeing the smut again, but an excuse for when they fall. Protect me from evil, dear Lord!
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a gentleness of character. I have become harsh over the years. Stress, abuse, fear, being stretched thin and worn down, confused, and failing have roughened my once smooth and soft edges. I have taken on masculine characteristic. Even my walk is more lumbering and less feminine. I yearn for gentleness and being a beautiful, safe, graceful haven for my family.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a pure and charitable heart. Help me to give without seeking gain.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a holy acceptance of suffering. Biggie here, but I love this. I love that Catholicism encourages a usefulness to suffering for the glory of God!
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the wisdom of faith.To learn wisdom, to know the true path, the truth, the black and white!
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus His blessing of perseverance in my good deeds.Help me not to be weary in well doing.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the strength to carry my crosses.I may have PTSD from things I dealt with several years ago so anything that stresses me becomes a crisis reaction and I freak out and then shut down. I need strength to carry my crosses rather than throwing them to the ground and pitching a fit.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a disdain for the material goods of this world.Help me not to covet and waste, but to be thoughtful and careful and a good steward.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the grace to always walk on the narrow path towards Heaven.Yes! This is what I've always wanted!
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the grace to avoid all occasion of sin.Laziness is often the path towards inviting occasions of sin. May I be diligent, instead.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus a holy desire for eternal bliss.Just the other night I was lamenting my wasting of the years of my life. I haven't really done much or accomplished much or have big memories of grand things. I actually started getting upset about it. I'm a simpleton and have lived in or near first world poverty most of my life. Amid the rest of the western world it can seem like my life is meaningless and wasted. Not so, dear Lord. My aim is higher.
St. Joseph, obtain for me from Jesus the grace of final perseverance. Help me not give up the race just before the finish line.
St. Joseph, do not abandon me.I need all the help I can get!
St. Joseph, grant that my heart may never cease to love you and that my lips may ever praise you. Learning to love the saints is a big deal. It is humbling and, yes, a little scary. One cannot be a spiritual island in Catholicism. We have too many people to love.
St. Joseph, for the love you bore for Jesus, grant that I may learn to love Him.To love Jesus as much as we can as He deserves means emptying ourselves of ourselves. That's a hard thing. Help me to learn to do so.
St. Joseph, graciously accept me as your devoted servant.Another humbling prayer, to get out of ourselves and put ourselves in another's service, especially since just before my researching into Catholicism I got into this new Evangelicalism that really pushed women to take charge of their lives and demand respect and getting their way.
St. Joseph, I give myself to you; accept my pleas and hear my prayers.I cannot do this on my own. More humbling.
St. Joseph, do not abandon me at the hour of my death.
Again, not an island.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I give you my heart and my soul.
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